Dear 1985 Lisa,
This is going to be a big year! In a few months, you’ll be moving to a new state. Everyone will say you talk funny, but that’s okay, they all talk funny too.
The first kids you meet will be Debbie and her sister Dawn. Dawn will become your best friend. Treasure the time you spend together. Take every opportunity to be with her, because in three years she’ll be with Jesus.
When you pick out wallpaper for your new bedroom, choose wisely. Your parents will talk about redoing the room as you get older, but it will never happen. The wallpaper you choose now will be on the walls until your kids are this age. The pastel kitties and bunnies are cute, but maybe get something else.
Your sister is desperate for a dog, so with the new house will come a new pet. You’ll feel like no one cares that you’re terrified of dogs. But you never speak up, so no one realizes how scared you are. Relax, it’ll be okay. Ebony is a great dog and will be around until you’ve gone off to college. By then you’ll love dogs so much you’ll never be without a pet of your own. Unlike hamsters – don’t bother with those, you’ll always get bored with them.
When your classmates want you to kiss Jason in the computer room while they stand guard, please say no.
When Father John offers $100 to any student who knows how many Gospels there are, the answer is 4.
You and Dawn will find a bone while playing Cops ‘n Robbers with your sisters. The owner of that land did not kill his family and bury them under a mound of mowed grass by the curb. It’s a dog bone.
It’s a swell dream, but the four of you are never going to be on Double Dare.
Don’t bother maintaining your innocence; nobody is going to believe someone else carved “LKT ’85″ into the side of the pinball machine.
In a year or so, you’re going to start falling asleep in class, and your mom will worry that something is wrong. There will be lots of doctor’s visits. Save everyone time and trouble, and tell them you’ve been using the streetlight outside your window to stay up all night and read.
The next several years are going to be rough. You’ll get bullied. Dating won’t go well. You’ll feel lonely and depressed. Hang in there. You’ll make it through, and you’ll be a strong and independent woman because of it.
PS Please don’t wear that shirt with those shorts.